I haven't been here I guess. Lately, I've been feeling alone in this world. Seems that when ever someone close to me dies...I feel like that. I saw some of my friends today...but I felt oddly seperated from them. Like, I wasn't apart of them anymore. Besides they don't talk to me like they use to. So now at school I feel alone. I was secure in that fact that some one I never thought would die would be here, she was an awesome free-spirit, spunky and adventurous...I thought she was invincible especially with a personality like hers. I never knew anyone that hated her. She was loved by many. I had not seen her since I was in the 9th grade I think. But her family moved away so sudden and we lost connect. She was taken away from this world, April 30th. Thought I hadn't seen her in a while...I cried. We had this link while growing up, she thrived to be different and unique. When we were young it was the fact, she loved different kinds of music. That was the coolest thing. We'd share music in my room and trade CD's laughing back and forth about different things. I enjoyed my time with her...she was my inspiration, she encouraged me to go for what I wanted...which was the fact I liked different things, that my family tried to make me ashamed of. Because of Alicia, I stuck with who I wanted to be and become. Loving different kinds of music, I'm not a closed minded person. In a sense we were so much alike...with little differences. Alicia was someone who helped me smile after the death of my father. She was a strong friend, not even my cousins stayed to comfort me...it was mainly Alicia and her brother Jason. So...I guess now you're supposed to let the dead rest. But I just feel so bad...You weren't supposed to die. It's like everytime I lose one more person...that's how much more alone I am in the world. I've lost my father, my Gramma (mom's mom), my Papa (mom's dad), my Granna (Dad's mom), my uncle Billy, my uncle John, Marlon (I'll love you for an eternity), and now Ali... So I cryed today. I guess I was mourning you all. And really seeing how I am really alone. I've never felt this lonely.